I should be writing.

There are two things I should be writing.

One of them is actually important; the life-update I promised niisama. That never happened.

I forgot, and then... now everything's perfect. I don't want to dwell on the past. We won't get evicted from here. We have enough room, enough money. Mikage is working for the time being and we can afford to fix him if he dies (or at least afford to rig his hard drive to my brother's Ubuntu Linux computer, which will be mine if Mikage dies, so I can get my stuff).

I don't want to dwell on the past, and...

No matter what I'm told, I don't feel that I belong in their world anymore. I don't think I ever did. I was so out of place, and now... I don't think I fit any better now. I know I don't.

I don't want to push myself into their world when there isn't a place for me. It's not my world. I don't belong there.

Or maybe I'm just pushing everyone away, as usual. Who knows with me? I certainly don't.

I know I'll hurt someone by saying this, which is why I'm being a coward and not saying it to anyone's face:

Trying to recreate a broken friendship is not how I want to spend my time. I'd rather just let it stay broken. It doesn't feel right, talking to them. It doesn't feel like it used to.

I don't know if that's the real me talking. I don't know who the real me is. Is it the Gwenhwyfar who laughs and talks too much, the one who can't sleep because the antidepressants work too well? Or is it the one who sleeps all the time, the one who is afraid to go out alone, the one too aware of what people might think of her?

I'm in the middle right now, while I'm at home at least. Outside... outside I'm still scared. I think I'll always be scared.

The other thing I should be writing...

...I think I'll just start over. A new LJ. This one has too many memories.

Yes.

I'll start over.

Moved, finally.

I have Internet. It's fast.

Mikage is having spazzes. I'm worried. His CMOS battery is showing signs of death (resetting the date to 1/1/1988 when it starts up and making me fix it in the BIOS). (You'd think that of my gadgets the one named Memiya would be the one to die first... -brick'd-)

Currently on the desktop, which is sort of Dylan's domain. Stuck in Ubuntu because he left his Live CD running and I don't know the password for his Windows account, so booting into Windows isn't an option. Ubuntu is kinda sexy, though.

I'm fine, I think, but I'm really... I don't know. I want to be antisocial and hide in my room all day and not have to /think/. Only we don't have wi-fi or long internet cable things, so for Internet I have to be out in the living room.

Dad has issues too -- the storming about and threatening to run out kind. I'm sure he won't, but... it's frightening. I wish he'd stop.

Obsessed with DOMA again. Varon's speech to Mai is on my list of most touching Yuugiou moments, though I think it goes after Yuugi telling Jyounouchi that he loves him. It's quite nice to know that I've been following canon all the times I've written Varon touching Mai's shoulder and Mai smacking his hand away. xD That got left out of the dub, along with this gem:

"A vampire, wandering in search of the blood of victory... that's you, Mai."

Varon, maybe if you stopped comparing her to bloodsucking undead you'd have better luck. o:

I'm sleeeeeepy. Been up since... since... since too long ago. D:

We're moving. God knows when. We have so much shit and nowhere to put any of it, no way to move the furnature. Fuuuun. We have 'til the end of the month, but we won't have the other place by then. So  much fun.

No internet at the new place, since our credit sucks so badly. I'll either live at the library or live in bed, sleeping and playing PS2.

My caseworker decided I'm sane without meds, so I'm not on them.

My doctor decided I'm too young to have a chronic pain condition, so I'm not on pain meds either.

I'm up all night, I sleep all day. I just want to keep sleeping and screw cleaning up my room -- I have too much shit in here to deal with. I don't want to deal with it. I don't want to deal with any of it.

Some of my stuff is sort of packed, I guess. Books. I turned three folders and a binder of crap into one folder, which is sort of nice, and found my revisions of the DOMA fanfic I wrote ages ago that sucked. It only sucks slightly less now.

I have enough Yuugiou cards to open my own Kame Shop, and probably more I haven't found yet. I'm not sure when I got all these cards. I don't have anyone but Dylan to play with. It's very strange.

I want to roleplay but nobody's online or responding to my posts. I suppose I'm expected to forgive my Malik -- she's bad with email, after all. =/

Not sure what my Buson's excuse is, especially since I was actually putting a hell of a lot of effort into that one -- more than I've put into anything in far too long. Maybe my Bashou sucks. Maybe I'm just an easy person to forget about.

Other dead roleplays: Two HiroshixSugurus, one VaronxAmelda, one Yami no YuugixRyou following the plot of the aforementioned DOMA fanfic, one Americanized Loveless thing, and two Voyager roleplays with my spazzy broken-brained half-Vulcan.

My days (nights) are so boring. I'm on Neopets all the time, sometimes Gaia. Occasionally I check my email or watch stuff on surfthechannel or youtube. I'm eighteen at the end of this year and I haven't finished high school. I have no employable skills. The thought of even leaving the house terrifies me.

I want to be a kid forever. I know I can't be, and that terrifies me too.

Sometimes I want to die, but then I remember that I can't do it properly -- god knows I've tried. I rarely cut, but the sides of my hands are covered in friction burns and my wrists have bite-shaped bruises. There's something dreadfully soothing about pain, about blood.

Somehow nobody notices.

There are Dresden Dolls lyrics (7 stops in seven different countries, 7-page iteneraries, memories thick as bloody marys) written on my wrist, and under the purple ink are pretty white scars; under the Yuugiou quote on the back of my hand (i won't let you hurt my friends anymore! i won't let you do what you want anymore!) are the scars everyone always thinks are burns, the jagged rectangles where I scraped and pulled my skin away.

I'm tired, but I don't want to sleep, really. I want to roleplay, but there's nobody to roleplay with, not really. I have someone I might be able to catch up with, but I don't want to play Domino. Ryou might be nice (oh, another dead roleplay -- ryouxshizuka, no great loss) but I'd probably get flamed for making him too weak or too strong. I always seem to do one or the other.

Besides, nobody roleplays Yuugiou anymore. It's cool to hate Yuugiou now, and even mentioning GX is good for fifteen minutes of being flamed. I haven't finished GX; I can't find it subbed, and the dub voices are annoying. Saiou would be an amazing villain if he didn't sound so much like dub Malik.

I don't really have anything useful to say, I guess. I started out angry but now I'm just... bleh. Tired. Hungry. Depressed. I don't want to move, of course, but there's nothing I can do about that. I don't know how it's going to happen. Maybe I should sleep, and when I wake up I can tackle my room. I'm so tired now I think I'd fall over if I tried to clean.

Guess it's time to check Gaia and see if my Tuvok responded, check Neopets and see if I'm frozen. Maybe if I'm feeling hopeful I'll check my email, but there won't be anything there. I should tell everyone that I won't have Internet soon, but I'd rather leave that until the last minute. Who knows? Maybe we'll get internet. Maybe something will work.

...yeah, right. When has my life ever worked that way?

I want to duel. I want to play my GX game and have the Kaiser tell me my dueling "tastes different". I want to kick Juudai's ass with his own E-HEROES. I want to watch Daitokuji get all flustered when I convince him to duel me by feeding his cat. I want to wait impatiently until Manjyome-san comes back from North Academy, so I can kick his preppy butt and feed him all the icky caviar sandwiches only he will eat.

Or maybe I want to lie in bed and pretend that I'm someone else. Maybe I'll pretend I'm my 'Trek OC -- even with his violent mood swings his life is better than mine. He has a special someone, after all.

I'm nobody's special someone. Nobody's at all.

But I guess it's okay.

Who would want to be my special someone? I can't think ahead. I can't stand to think ahead.

I never want things to change.

I'd probably be smothering.

First, an apology.

I haven't been on my meds since I moved back home, so my mind is not entirely stable at the moment. I've been avoiding livejournal because dealing with friends (and trying to repair friendships) seems terrifying to me.

-sigh- I need a new shrink.

Second, a long rant about how Yuugiou GX is on more crack than that Pokemon/Yuugiou/Yami no Matsuei roleplay.


I'm hyper. I think sharpie poisoning has finally gotten to me. D:

It snowed.

Not the kind of weak, thin, icy layer of snow Eugene normally sees, but heavy, covering up footprints we left ten minutes ago snow.  It stopped, but it's supposed to start up again overnight.

I hate... I don't know what I hate, but something. Not Mom herself -- it's not her fault she's useless now, I guess. Maybe. I'm sick of dealing with her, though. I wish she'd just die.

Isn't that horrible of me? I honestly wish she'd die. Sure, Dad would break again like he did when she was in jail -- but hey. I can deal with broken Dad. I can yell at him. I can't yell at Mom, because then I'm an ungrateful little bitch.

Before her stroke... man, she was horrible then. When I came back from Meg's she snapped -- not that she wasn't pretty bad before, but it got worse. She hit me, tore my clothes, ripped out (and cut) my hair -- I remember standing in the hotel room with her threatening to stab me with a screwdriver.

I was pretty bad then, too. I just laughed in her face. I had everything worked out then; she was jealous of me, she hurt me because she couldn't stand how pretty I was. Yeah, I was pretty fucking delusional then. Didn't get along well with Dad, either. That's why I was at the shelter the night Mom had her stroke.

I was up until two AM that night -- the door was open a little and I was staring at the clock in the main room. I fell asleep, and then around three someone woke me up... I think it might have been Shuichi. Maybe.

Maybe not.

Someone woke me up and told me, and I just laughed. "You're joking, right? You're just joking." And whoever it was -- it couldn't have been Shuichi, his shift ended before dinner -- kept saying no, your mom had a stroke, she really had a stroke. Do you want to see her?

I started crying then.

Someone took me to the hospital, and I met up with Dylan and Dad in the waiting room. They never let me see Mom, though -- even though Dylan got to see her. I went back to the shelter eventually. I don't remember what happened after that. I don't remember being paticularly sad.

I was rather normal then, I think. I hung out at the library with Wesley and some other kids a lot. One afternoon I just sat in the young adult section, talking, playing with Wesley's hair. He went with me the one time I saw Mom in the hospital, when she was still in a coma.

How come she couldn't have stayed that way? How come she had to come back broken? I wish she'd just never woken up. It would have been kinder, and easier...

I claim to be religious. I put "Wicca" in the religion boxes on paperwork, anyway. But if there's a kind, merciful higher power... why is it letting her suffer like this?

It has eaten it, and chewed it up, and is turning it into a small puddle of FFX-obsessed mush. Sort of like what happened with Yuugiou, actually, including the me-attempting-to-roleplay-even-though-I-haven't-finished-it bit. (Apparently I make a decent Tidus. o.O WTF. He's not my style at ALL. He's agressively het and a sports dork and... his pants are weird!)

I am going to go play more now. I must finish it. I fail horribly at finishing games, especially RPGs, but I must finish it!

...have I ever finished an RPG? o.o I've played both Icewind Dale games, Neverwinter Nights, Pokemon Yellow, Crystal, Emerald, and Leaf Green, X-Men Legends... I think I finished Icewind Dale I...

Why do I have such fail at updating my journal?

Went to the mall today with Dylan. Dragged him into Hot Topic because I had another gift card and found PURIN THINGS. LOTS OF THEM.

Well, okay, not lots -- just a tee-shirt and a keychain and a pin.

I bought all three. <333 Because Purin = AWESOME AND WIN.  Almost as much as Zanigame. (There was a Zanigame pin, but it was a weird pose... did not make me as happy as PURIN GOODNESS)

Also got some video games -- Final Fantasy X and Bauldor's Gate for the PS2. Hey, can't go wrong with five-dollar RPGs, right? Dylan got the Artemis Fowl graphic novel, which makes me crave Butler/Artemis -- nothing is immune to my slash fangirlness, I suppose.

I feel like crap. I'm freezing and just... cruddy. The house is a mess, mom has an infected tooth and is good for nothing but lying in bed moaning, and parents are too lazy and cheap to get such things as a shower curtain or towels so I haven't showered since I got here.

x.X

So I'm home. It's weird, but not as weird as I thought it would be. I've become hugely nocturnal and gotten my AMs and PMs mixed up, and I haven't taken my pills since getting here (whoops!) but it doesn't seem to be bothering me much. I'm feeling kinda cruddy, a bit nausiated, but otherwise I'm fine.

I like having the PS2 back, finally. It's in my room right now because there's no room downstairs. We have Max Payne, The Matrix: Path of Neo, some racing game, something called Destroy All Humans, and then the three games I actually play: X-Men Legends, Kingdom Hearts, and DDRMAX2.

MAX2 is one of the two DDR games I played at Christie. It's the one they had at Willamite, the lockdown cottage. I like a few of the songs; Dream a Dream, BREAK DOWN, and Can't Stop Falling in Love. I can just manage to pass Dream a Dream on Standard if I have the handclaps on in Training Mode; hopefully I can do so with a mat. We have one, but jumping around upstairs would make the apartment shake, so we're not using it until we clear room downstairs.

I kind of want to go to the mall and show off a trick I read about in a walkthrough; playing versus, both players on the same difficulty, one with steps reversed and arrows off -- so you have to read the other player's steps and reverse them. I did that with Dylan, and if I can pull it off on a mat, I'll go to the mall and do it. I know Gateway has a machine with some easy, upbeat songs on it that Dylan will like -- Butterfly, I Do I Do I Do, that sort of thing. Can't remember if it's the machine in the main arcade or the one at the movie theater, though.

I want to go to Putters, too -- the minigolf place where I first played DDR. They have a kinda battered illegal Japanese setup there. It's funny to read all the stickers that say "for use and sale in Japan only". I'm fairly sure it has some songs on it that I like that aren't on any American versions, too. I'll have to go back and see.

And I really want a roleplay. All my Neopets accounts are suspended yet again, though, so I'm out of luck unless my Kurt/Hank/Remy randomly gets on. She agreed to help me develop the history of one of my OCs a bit, so it's rescue-mission goodness -- well, the word goodness doesn't really work with James... xD I like her, though. Her Kurt makes me giggle madly.

"I don't understand. Why did Xavier ask me to come along?"
 
"Don' really matter now, does it? We here. We do the job. End of story."
 
"It does not feel right..."
 
"Yes, dat happens every now and again. But don' worry - I'm sure you be living wit' yourself in the end."

"I'm not like you. I don't go about stealing!"
 
"Oui, dat's a real pity mon ami! I'm good an' all, but I ain' got nothing on the way you 'bam!" t' anywhere you want. Which really is a good deal, now dat I think about it...are you sure you weren't a thief in a past life?"
 
"No!"
 
"Minor dealer? Come now - don' be shy. Trade secrets, yes?"
 
"Stealing is a sin! We were not given these powers to use them in such a manner."
 
"Ah, dat's what you say now. Wait 'til after an' you'll be singing a different tune. No one ever steals with Gambit an' don' feel the thrill of it all. I make sin look good, homme!"

"There's no such thing as a good sin. That makes no sense at all. A contradiction, and if you were anything but a criminal, you would -"
 
"Chill, Elf-boy. I just playin' wit' you. Where's your sense of humour? See, dat dere is exactly why you need to be hanging out wit' me more often - the ladies just can't resist my witty charms."
 
"I think I have seen cattle with more wit and charm than -"
 
"Yes. I think we have had quite enough fun for one day, children."

Tasty, yes? <3

Didn't bother with that silly thing called "sleep" last night -- just stayed up all night and eventually found a roleplay, so all was not for nothing.

I used to be the inexperenced thing clinging to the almighty Yuugiou dork... and now I'm helping some pour soul who has only seen the Yuugiou movie. The shitty one that was released in America first and doesn't have Ryou in.

Despite this huge disadvantage, I somehow now have PegasusxSeto goodness. My Pegasus = TEH SUX. And I sent the intro to the wrong person at first, which is huge suckage.

I'm surprisingly packed. Mostly. I know I have random manga all over the place and my Satoshi hat is downstairs somewhere, and I need to open my suitcase again to put what I'm wearing now in it after I get dressed, and... bleh.

Speaking of manga. You know you're really bored (and slightly scary) when you decide to try and read a book in a language you DON'T UNDERSTAND. Even scarier is when you can pick out a bit of what's being said...

Granted, "Yuugi-kun," "itai yo," and "watashi wa -something- Sen'nen Ring no -something-" is not exactly impressive. Oh well. It's not like I don't know what happens in that book anyway. xD

...why is Bakura written with katakana beside the kanji instead of hiragana when it's Yami no Bakura being referred to? It makes my brain hurt. It doesn't help that I read NO katakana, especally not when they're so small I couldn't read them even if they were roman characters. Why are the things that go beside the kanji so damn small? And why can't I remember what they're called?

...this is one of those annoying sleepless rants. x.x

I love life. xD

Debi, the foster girl I share a room with, was talking to her boyfriend and angsting that I'm not leaving until Friday. I asked why (curiousity has always been one of my flaws) and she eventually caved and told me it was because she couldn't masterbate while talking to her boyfriend until I left.

Only she was doing it ANYWAY.

Insert chaos, running into RaeLynn and new girl's room, hitting Debi with pillows, and general foolishness. Not to mention me telling her that I masterbate sometimes after she falls asleep. She freaked, of course.

Oh, and yeah -- I'm leaving Lorraine's on Friday. I'm going home. HOME. It seems so weird... after being at Christie for so long, and the hospital and ETC before that... I've changed so much.



KILL ME PLZ? That just... doesn't sound like me. o.o Such a change.

I need to pack. xD I don't want to. I'll do it tomorrow, which is what I said yesterday, of course.

Ooh, I downloaded the unreleased but mostly complete English version of Princess Maker 2 the other day; SUCH a good game. You get this little girl and raise her from age 10 to 18 by sending her to school and work, and then see how she turns out. It's also got a little RPG built in using the combat and magic stats she gains from some of the classes. It's awesome.

It's an old DOS game, though, and I can't get DOSBox to load; it plays under XP, but only fullscreen and without sound, and I want it windowed so I can roleplay while it's playing without having to ALT+TAB every few minutes.

My first time playing it (well, again, I used to have it on my desktop and played it loads) I got a fairly good ending; court magician, and she married SOMEONE, but I didn't figure out who; I apparently skipped past that part. Ooops. Now I'm trying for a "dark" ending, like royal concubine or prostitute -- yes, those are actual endings!

Yay, Japan. xD And America, for almost selling it here! But the company went bankrupt. Poo.

charisma up charisma up, daughter dear, and don't you dare lower than sin score...

I'm sick. Not sick as in "oh woe is me I'm about to die" sick, but sick enough to be quite miserable, thankyouverymuch. And I haven't posted in ever 'cause I'm a lazy little thing, although I guess that's known by everyone who counts already. D:


Best gift ever turned out to be the Hot Topic gift card, because they had... A PIKACHUU SHIRT MADE OF WIN AND WIN. <33333 I wanted their Zanigame shirt but they had one left and not in my size. But the Pikachuu one is so freaking cute!



ISN'T IT CUTE? <333333 I love it sososomuch. It was worth all the time I spent in that damn store. -wince- It smells funny in there.

Pokemon is my favorite fandom right now. xD I found -- FINALLY -- a raw of Myuutsuu! Here I am! which I have obsessed over since even before I saw it the first time. Because it has DOMINO in it, and Domino is joy. I also found subtitles on a different site, so I have a sort-of subbed version now, and that's happy and joy. Only the subtitles keep falling off the edge of the screen.

Aaaand I have a high-quality sub of Raikou: Legend of Thunder, so happy and joy with Bashou and Buson.

And because I am apparently collecting a collection of movie/special only Rokketto-dan agents, I have the fourth movie too. Not so hot on Vicious (why do they keep putting mechs in my Pokemon?) but it's got A NEW OTP FOR ME TO DROOL ON.



Satoshixyoung!Okaido-hakase. I can't remember his first name. Yu-something. xD

...seem to have something to do with porn?

Actually, I have to correct myself.

How come, every time I randomly decide to see what else someone has done, it involves Pokemon or Yuugiou (if I was looking at someone who did some yaoi OAV thing) or some yaoi OAV thing (if I was looking at someone who did Pokemon or Yuugiou)?

I'm scarring myself.

For example: To celebrate having Mikage all to myself (and yes, my laptop is now named Mikage, despite any earlier claims to the contrary) I downloaded Boku no Sexual Harassment. Because it makes me giggle, and the uke, Mochizuki is cute on toast. Despite being a manwhore.

Um, I got distracted reading webcomics... where was I?

Oh, yeah.

Mochizuki's voice actor? Also first series Ryou. The seme, Honma? Ohtori Akio from SKU, which just proves that Akio is seme incarnate. Not that I needed proof on that one. But, most disturbing...

Fujita, I think his name is. The uke's best friend. Has a crush on the uke. His voice actor also does Jyounouchi and...

BASHOU. You know, that guy from Rokketto-dan's Profit Expansion Division that has a smaller role than Domino and somehow ended up as a girl? Yeah.

Him.

At least now when I get into arguments about his gender, I can pull out the "his voice actor also plays a gay guy who has a crush on another gay guy who's fucking everyone in the company and then some!" card. Just not on Neopets.

Oh, and on the way back from Eugene today I totally plotted out this weird Gravitation/SKU crossover involving Akio and Suguru. Godwhy.

Granted, it sucks EGGS.

It's a clunky IBM ThinkPad that looks like it could withstand a drop off a five-story building. It runs XP (at least it's not Vista!) and doesn't have a touchpad; it's got one of those weird thingies in the middle of the keyboard that I can't stand. The keyboard feels all squishy and wrong and it probably won't run The Sims, not to mention the fact that it doesn't have a DVD drive.

But it's MINE. All MINE. <3<3<3

One of my Christmas gifts is a twenty-five dollar gift card to Best Buy. I'm just slightly bitter about this. Kristina got fifty dollars AND a twenty-five dollar gift card to Wal*Mart, Debi got tons of stuff from Victoria's Secret... I get twenty-five bucks and a coat that doesn't fit.

I could get all of Loveless, but the anime isn't as pretty as the manga. I could get three episodes of Utena, but that doesn't exactly seem worth it.

WHY IS ANIME SO EXPENSIVE DAMNIT?

I felt the urge to record myself singing today, which is weird; I don't do that because I know I don't sound very good. Still, I ignored that...

Nothing by the 'Dolls was suiting my tastes, so I ventured into anime stuff. I couldn't find the full version of Sleepless Beauty anywhere, which is generally the song I can sing when I want to impress people by sounding fluent, so I ended up rooting around for Utena music.

I gave the pre-duel song a shot -- the lyrics are simple, after all -- but I forgot how horrible I sound on that song. It goes too high for me or something. I ended up with Truth, which was a really bad idea.

Truth was one of the songs she could sing -- and even worse, the English lyrics are enough to remind me of her very, very strongly. She got me into Utena, after all. It was her anime -- when she was over, we'd watch Gravitation sometimes, or other things, but there would always be a long session of Utena with me asking stupid questions and her explaining everything.

I miss her so much. I WANT her so much, even now that I'm a hell of a lot saner and more balanced than I was then. It was so easy to fall in love with her -- I think if we hadn't been at Christie, it would have been just as easy to develop a physical relationship. I've never met anyone else who made it that easy.

I don't know if I ever will.

-clears angst out of saved draft-

I have learned that, apparently, without my noticing, I make a damn good Ritsu-sensei. o.o It's not like he's my favorite character, or anything, but somehow I've ended up roleplaying him more than I'm roleplaying Youji in the Loveless RP I'm doing -- Youji off being sedated somewhere because he wouldn't go to sleep without Natsuo.

We put our tree up last night. It's fake, but I don't mind; it means I won't sneeze and it won't shed all over the floor. Lorraine had recorded the Celtic Women special so we put that on and I drooled over the pretty dresses while putting Alice, Tinkerbell, and Thumper on the tree -- among others. All the things we never had because when I was a kid I never watched TV, and when I was older my parents just didn't like Disney. I miss some of our things (our little metal angels, our clear balls with popouri in them) but it was still fun. Only not so much so when Izzy peed on the floor, but she does that a lot, so.

We rented X-Men 3 the other day and now I'm in full X-Dork mode and have a page up on Neopets with the revised versions of four of my old OCs. I even found some movie-style training outfits for The Sims 2, so I created them there. Yay, dorkiness!

Oh, and random information that makes me squee: When I got here, in July, I was an eighteen in junior's pants. Now I'm a fourteen. I need new pants -- which is the non-squeeworthy part, but oh well.

Someone asked me to write this list, so.

A list of all the canon characters I feel moderately comfortable roleplaying as, organized by series, with notes as to what series I have OCs for.

Whee.

ANIME/MANGA:

LOVELESS: Natsuo, Youji, Ritsu, Nana. OCs.
Gravitation: Suguru, Shuuichi, Tatsuha.
Yuugiou: Ryou, Yuugi, Mokuba, Varon, Amelda, Haga.
Pokemon: Kojirou, Bashou, Musashi, Domino, Satoshi. OCs like WOAH.
Revolutionary Girl Utena: Anshii. And, um, Chu-Chu.

MOVIES:

X-Men: Stepford Cukoos (aka Three-/Five-in-One), Nightcrawler, Jean fucking Grey. OCs.
Labyrinth: Teenaged Toby.
Rocky Horror Picture Show: Columbia, Magenta, Rocky.

COMICS/BOOKS:

Batman: Dick Grayson, Tim Drake.
Harry Potter: Draco, Blaise Zabini, Ginny, Hermione.
Good Omens: Aziraphael.
X-Men: Stepford Cukoos, Jean Grey.

CARTOONS:

Teen Titans: Robin, Starfire, Raven.
X-Men Evolution: Nightcrawler.

More than I thought, actually. o.o

Lorraine decides that today is the best time to replace the laptop that I normally use. Which would be bad enough, because until she comes back or it arrives or whatever I have to use the desktop, but I sort of have my games on there.

Longest Journey isn't such a problem. I was only in the first chapter, and I've played that game so many times I could beat it with my eyes closed.

The Sims is rather annoying -- not only is the serial key for the damn thing hard to read, I had over two thousand custom objects/hair/what have you AND I put my heart and soul into making the Zeroboys last night, sailor-smocks and all. Shit. I am NOT looking forward to doing that again, nor to re-finding all my downloads (or downloading a hair mesh + ten colors in SEPERATE FILES after I thought I had everything I wanted, yes, XM Sims, I hate you...)

But the worst part is Dreamfall. I got through most of the sneaking puzzles by pure dumb luck the first time around (especally at the Victory Hotel -- yikes!) and I might as well sell it now. I don't want to play those damn puzzles again.

Why the fuck couldn't she have told me about this last night? Then I could have backed stuff up. I mean, sure, I only have EsuBi-kun, which is tiny and holds little and is highly unreliable... but I could have uploaded stuff to those file-share sites that annoy me so much when I'm trying to download scanlations and dojinshi.

...it is a challange, I'm usually lazy~

Amanda Palmer on the brain, again. But why the hell am I awake at eight AM trying to convince Liz's hyper ball of fluff to keep her own personal space on the couch and not chew on my ears?

I have no idea, but it's weird to be up this early. o.o

I went into MANICMODE last night and cleaned my room after taking my sleeping pill an hour early, but that couldn't be it. I followed that with a few hours of quality time with Harry Potter, imagining how horrible the movie's going to be. -sniff-

Meh.

With friends like Kaysha's, who needs enemies?

She was apparently in "omg I WANNA DIE!" mode last night; I didn't notice, as I generally stay far away from her. She's annoying. But anyway, she was talking to someone and apparently said that she took some pills, so that someone called Kaysha's on-again off-again girlfriend Lacey (the one who looks like Loki but doesn't act like her one bit), who called the police.

I'm all snuggled on the couch, feeling cruddy and trying to get through yet another fucking sneaking level in Dreamfall (hate, hate, hate) when the police show up looking for Kaysha. I have problems talking to the police at the best of times, even when they're nice, and I made things worse by telling them she wasn't at home because I thought she wasn't (someone had called earlier for her and I had attempted a journey upstairs to locate her, but I tripped over Bo and ended up yelling for her and she didn't answer).

They told me the dispatcher was talking to her right then and she WAS at home, so I had to explain that while trying to keep the dogs inside and away from the officers' ankles and also while freaking out, and Kaysha finally came downstairs, leaving me to sit on the kitchen floor with a hand on Sera's collar because she didn't want to move and she would probably have tried to nom on the unfamiliar ankles. Sera does that.

I also did a little crying into Sera's neck, 'cause she's good for that when she's not trying to nom on people, until Kaysha decided that she would NOT get into the cop car in her PJs and nearly stepped on me heading upstairs, followed by two cops who at least tried not to step on me. She called me a bitch and asked what the fuck my problem was and I told her (somewhat untruthfully) that I was worried about her. (Actually, it was the police that were freaking me out, but I didn't want to say that; I'm a paranoid little ukething sometimes.)

Que storm upstairs, calling me a fucking lier who needed to stop with the bullshit. Que more tears. Que Sera deciding to start growling. Yay.

She ended off leaving with one of the cops and the other cornered me in the kitchen to explain that she wasn't being charged with any crime, she was just suicidal and they had to take her to the ER, blah. I nodded a lot and stared at his Tazer because the world has been full of Tazer-happy cops lately, or so Inside Edition would have me believe. Told him that yes, Lorraine keeps all the pills locked up and no, I don't think Kaysha hurt herself today because the razors were locked up too. Got a call from Kaysha's mentor in the middle of all this and had a very hard time balancing that and the cop, and finally let them just talk to each other while I sat and wibbled and started a nice little friction burn on my arm without noticing.

Cop showed serious reservations about leaving the little pile of uke, probably because I couldn't even talk properly by that point, but he finally did. He promised to come back and check on me in a bit, but he didn't, but it doesn't matter because I found sharp things and calmed down.

Whee.